Colors Of Veil

Woman against Women!

Some people grow only in size and age while the intellectual and mental ability remains stagnated at childhood. Many people irritate others when they speak. Few are exceptionally gifted as their mere presence is enough to vitiate the atmosphere.

Reena’s mother-in-law, Daya is one such case. She has always been a difficult person to handle throughout life. Her soft looks, short stature and sweet tongue gave her first impression of a gentle and caring lady. Few knew that the same tongue had the capacity to spit out verbal venom. Gossiping, ill mouthing, criticising others were integral part of her daily chores. When angry, she used to blur out choicest of abuses to family members. People who dared to disagree with her views got branded as pig headed. Unforgiving nature gave her the appetite to quarrel on a topic for days and sometimes weeks altogether, while the nagging may continue even for months. The tussle, mostly one sided, would not end with the meek surrender of targeted person. Even apologies tendered could not pacify her. Only way to stop her was by providing a new topic to fight.

The daughter-in-law’s toxicity towards Daya was evident to every household in the Muhalla.Many times she was heard saying “iske naam ke saath n judda hona chahiye tha. Daya nahi Dayan hai yeh (letter n should be added to her name which suits her - ‘Dayan - the Witch’)”, bringing hearty laugh to the coterie of pados ki aurtain(neighbourhood females). Reena was also privy to her habit of lying nonchalantly and unforgiving nature. Some of the dead people were still remembered by her with equal vengeance and same frown as when they were alive.

Prakash, Daya’s only son, had always maintained that his mother can never be wrong and the circumstances made her behave in an erratic manner. He used to ponder if plenty of time without any worthwhile work could be the reason of her frustration. But could never arrive at any conclusion.

Daya’s nature was subject of routine discussions and regular questions. Why she was never corrected by anybody? Why people tolerated her unpredictable behaviour? There were many reasons of not putting her into right place. Family members in immediate vicinity were scared to counter her and feared spoilt living environment. Neighbours in constant touch found it better to just keep quiet and not reciprocate to the idiotic conduct. Distant relatives having occasional interactions thought it would be wise not to poke a senile widow. Soon after marriage, Reena was adamant to set things right. But could do little due to non supportive Prakash and financial consequences. The house and every thing it contained belonged to Daya. It was curtly made clear to the couple, that in case they find her intolerable and decided to move out, the property will be donated in charity. Reena had no choice but to settle down with the hope that things will improve some day. Revolt was nipped in the bud.

Five years went by. Reena - once a confident educated girl, buckled and slowly transformed into a doe. Her meek surrender to fate saved the love and marriage with Prakash. “Beta nashta bana du?(should I fix you some breakfast)” -asked Daya. Prakash woke up with her sitting at footside of the bed, picking her nose. “Haan, par haath dhone ke baad.(yes please, but after washing your hands)”- replied Prakash, irritated with his first sight of the day. The hell broke loose thereafter. “Apni jooru ko sikha safai jisne rasoi ko kudedaan banna diya hai! Isske aane se pahle tu meri banai roti khata tha!(teach these manners to your wife)” - rebuked Daya, embarking on yet another campaign. It lasted for many days with Reena on line of fire. Prakash felt helpless failing to protect his love from the exploitation by his own mother. Worry and emotions were overwhelming. They replaced rationality. Unable to locate the cause he quickly dismissed them. At pinnacle of manipulative and opportunistic behaviour, it was not easy to find what bothered Ammaji.

“Chai tayaar hai!(tea is ready)” exclaimed Reena from the tiny kitchen of her small house. She had tried her best to make it a home for her, Prakash and their beautiful daughter. “Yahin de de! Main ghar ki shanti ke liye paath kar rahi hu!(bring it here itself, I am in prayer)” The religious scriptures acted as ploy to spy with wandering eyes, ears without getting noticed. “Amma, chai. Ghar ke liye aap kitni chinta karte ho.(here’s the tea, you care so much about us)” Sycophantically Prakash set the cup of tea on a wooden stool beside her. Was it necessary to massage her ego? Of course she had weird expectations. On many instances he had noticed her trying to grab limelight. Why can’t he pin point the weakness? Entangled in the web of reasoning, he came back to the living room to sort out the mess created by his daughter. ‘Little girl has now started crawling. I will get her admitted in English medium school. The books will be first hand with brown cover. Her name will be neatly written on the first page of every book. She will look like an angel in the school frock.’ Prakash’s thoughts got disturbed by a thud followed by a howl.

The voice had come from Daya’s room. He found her lying on the floor with severe pain at the back of abdomen. Holy book was strewn with tea. Reena had quickly fetched an auto-rickshaw and they immediately took her to the local doctor. She got referred to Tilak Hospital, the biggest government medical facility in the town. After two days, reports of emergency tests performed were out. She was put on dialysis due to acute renal failure. Both of her kidneys were functioning at one tenth of the capability. She required immediate transplant or else it was a matter of weeks before the regular dialysis and medical expenses would have drained the meagre savings of the family. Their financial condition had never been sound.

Daya was shifted to ICU and could not have survived for more than few weeks, unless Reena had not agreed to donate one of her kidneys. The complex tests in the laboratory found her organs compatible with the most incompatible person in her life. Many tried to reason with her and questioned her magnanimity. She had looked towards Prakash for advice. He was in dilemma and undecided. Daya was finally rescued from her pain by the person who had always received pain from her. The identity of donor was not revealed as per wishes of Reena, as she feared Daya may not give consent to put her daughter-in-law’s life in jeopardy. Illusions cast veil over logic. Many secret tales hide behind the attractive colors of veil.

While recovering in the hospital, Daya had sufficient time for introspection. “Ke fayda chhori ne aagge padda ke? Pandrah ki hovegi toh haath peele kar devenge. Ramlal aachha kamaave hai sehar ma!(what is use of getting daughter educated? Let her attain fifteen years of age and we’ll get her married to Ramlal)” Sati Chand had retorted in the evening after day’s work in the paddy field. “Daya ke bauji, Ramlal paintees ka ho javega agli holi pe! Umar ke lihaj se bahute bada hai. Chhori metric ho javan do, phir soch lena(Ramlal is almost thirty five years old, let her study further)”. Pleaded Dhaniya. “Tu mardaa ke kaam main naa bola kar. Chal roti sek(don’t interfere in my decision)”. Daya remembered hearing the conversation standing behind the log door with bated breath. Her mother had promised that she will get bauji agree to postponing the marriage and for her continuing studies. While going out to light a fire in the mud chullah, Dhaniya had reassured her of another try at night. But she was not very hopeful because she knew what happens to her mother across the pale yellow curtain in the night. As a child she could never make out of the shadows emerging from the lantern lit room, but now at thirteen she was well aware of the painful ritual her mother undergoes night after night.

“Do saal main jitna padna chahi padd le bitiyaa. Phir saadi ke liye raazi hona hi padega. Tu jaane hai na apne bauji ko? Badi muskil se manaya hai.(I’ve got permission for two years for the studies, on the condition that you will get married thereafter)” Dhaniya could somehow manage to get Sati Chand agree at one point. However he remained adamant on the age of marriage and choice of groom.

She was the first girl who appeared in metric exam from the village. Till now she blames the poor background for failure in the exam. Lack of any further opportunity instilled personality complex in her. Wedding with Ramlal and shifting to town was uneventful and she was well conversant with the duty that dharampatni has to follow every night. Prakash was in her lap before she turned sixteen. Ramlal pampered her with regular gifts, afterall getting a wife less than half of his age was an achievement. However, Daya could never conceive again. All the jadi-booti taken then had an adverse effect on her health. It could be the underlying cause of the kidney failure. Deteriorating health and tantrums made her a difficult daughter-in-law to handle and even tougher mother in law for Reena. From heart of heart she was scared for what she had done to Ramlal’s mother after his sudden demise. She feared a repetition.

Prakash woke up after a nap on the patient attendant’s bench outside the ladies ward. Amma had repeatedly asked him for Reena and was now very angry due to her absence. He wanted to tell her that she is recovering in the adjoining ward but refrained due to the promises made. He had tried to calm her down by cooking up a story of Reena leaving for maayka to attend to her ailing mother, but it made situation even worse.

“Apni maa jyada pyaari hai!(her own mother is more important than me)” – she had commented. Sitting idle his mind turned to childhood. Prakash was witness of regular quarrels of Amma and Dadi. He used to give benefit of doubt to his mother. After few years he noticed strained relations with Bua. He again dismissed it. Soon he discovered tension brewing between her and Maami. He again took side of Ammaji. It was quite later in life, much after his marriage, that he became apprehensive about her nature and evil mind set. In fact, it was Reena who freed him from the influence of his mother. When the hypnotic spell broke, Prakash could realise her strange attitude. Analysis of past events made pattern of misdeeds visible. Once he saw her pushing his Dadi. He chose to remain silent though felt sick and remorseful. He could not sleep for many nights. Demise of papaji unleashed a reign of terror on the family in general and Dadi in particular. Dadi died of unknown ailment two years later, without any medication. The unknown ailment was hunger and medicine required was food. The memories from past again set him thinking for the reason. Failing to pinpoint the exact cause, he diverted his thoughts to Pari, who has been in her nanihal since Reena’s hospitalisation. Remembering her innocence brought a smile on his face.

Reena felt a sharp wave of pain travelling from lower abdomen to legs. It had been more than three days since operation and still she could not walk till toilet without help. The recovery this time is more arduous than previous occasion when her uterus had been removed in the same hospital due to septicaemia post birth of Pari by a midwife. Daya was not informed dreading a backlash, that the granddaughter is the last and only grandchild she can have.

The pain was severe enough to slip Reena into partial unconsciousness. She had a vision of her going to the college. The silent suffering of last half decade qualified her to be labelled as educated illiterate. She had fought with her parents to get married to her childhood love, Prakash. On the contrary, mother-in-law shattered her dreams in no time. She did try to play victim in initial years, but Prakash was not strong enough to lean on.

Daya had entered the bedroom noisily, pushing the door bit more than required and eyed the only wall clock of house. “kya time hua hai? (what’s the time?)”. “chaar baj Gaye!(it’s four o’clock already)” replied herself and in the process woke up her four months old granddaughter, sleeping in the lap of Reena, who herself was dozing off after day’s hard work and sleepless previous night. Few minutes of nap had been ruined. She would have tip-toed in the room had it been a grandson. Although Daya had been very vocal about equality of gender but had rarely followed it in actions. Bias was evident to all but nobody dared to point it out for the fear of another round of barbs and taunts. A painful jab of painkiller by the nurse brought her back to the present on the iron bed of Tilak Hospital.

Daya was discharged after two weeks, a week after Reena came back. Emotions welled up when they met. Empathy on one side and arrogant presumption of not visiting in hospital on other. No one spoke.

A month later on a lazy afternoon, Daya was woken up from her slumber by sudden awkward cry of Pari who was sleeping in other room. She took couple of minutes getting up. “Kya ho gaya hai Mari ko?(what happened)” Pari used to become Mari in the absence of her parents. She entered the room anticipating requirement of feed or spoilt nappy. There she lay crying, shaking her little hands and legs more vigorously than normal. Rejecting it as one of the newly learned tantrums, she went to kitchen to prepare some milk. All this while the baby’s cries had turned into screaming. “Aa rahi hu, kyu jaan khaa rahi hai!(coming, why can’t you wait)” cursing she thursted bottle in the baby’s mouth. When Pari didn’t even took the cognition of it, Daya diverted her thoughts to other reasons of wailing. One thing was sure-something was out of place. Perhaps it was stomach pain due to indigestion. It could be onset of viral fever. May be an insect has bitten her. A snake was spotted in the vicinity yesterday. Brushing aside apprehensions, she decided to wait for Prakash and Reena to come back.

“Reena ke medical check up hi nahi khatam ho rahe. Har hafte jaati hai, iss Mari ko mere paas chor kar. Apna bachha khud nahi sambhal sakti!(Reena’s medical check up are now getting too long, they go leaving Pari behind)” frowned Daya. “Daactar toh badi phees lega. Dawai ka paise alag. Shaam tak apne aap he aaram aa jayega. Yeh aaj kal ke bacchon ne jeena mushkil kar diya hai!(why should I take her to doctor, the fee is too expensive)” The baby turned her head left to right with eyes begging for help. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She seemed extremely uncomfortable and uneasy in her bed. Daya could have taken the infant in her lap to reduce the agony but than girls should not be pampered. They should learn to stop crying on their own and must get habitual of enduring pain, as Dhaniya had taught her. After a while, Pari stopped crying and showed no sign of pain. The little baby who was kicking and smiling few hours back turned blue. There were two black spots on the back of right thigh. The innocent smile had gone forever. Death is much closer than one thinks.

Prakash was sitting on his haunches in one corner. Reena was inconsolable. Daya pretended to be unaware of the events leading to the tragedy. She was thanking God and was seeing divine intervention in the story which unfolded on that fateful day. The worry of arranging expenses for the education and dowry had been taken care of by God himself. In couple of years I will be able to see another grandchild - grandson this time. I will take the couple to Pipal wale baba for blessings. Again there will be coo’s and babbles in the home, she thought.

Prakash was in the state of distress. His mind was tired, bewildered of making efforts to figure out reason for the loss. And as always, he was not sure.