In The Name Of

Punjabis like everything big. Big house, big car, big meal… sab kuch vadda vadda hona chahida.

We Punjabis are too cool when it comes to officially naming our Deepu, Chintu, Bably, Bablu, Minku, Tinku etc.

Adding Deep, Jeet, Meet, Preet, Inder and Pal after any damn word in the dictionary makes it potent enough to be adopted as a name. Also this is the only field in which there is no gender discrimination. To know if a person is male or female, take a cab and travel 1 kilometre length of first name to arrive at middle name. If there you find Singh then its a male and if you find Kaur than the individual is female. Thereafter, walk few yards to arrive at equally unique surname. In a situation where Singh/Kaur is omitted, keep your fingers crossed. Don’t freak out if your anticipated beautiful Simran Dhillon turns out to be a 6 feet tall hunk with handlebar moustache.

Let me explain with an example. One of my friend’s name is Pushpinder Jeet Singh Chandumajra. Though at home he is called just Pipu..simply Pipu. The poor soul dreads to travel with his wife Gurmukh Preet Kaur Chandumajra and two sons Harijinder Pal Singh Chandumajra and Parminder Pal Singh Chandumajra. Filling of railway ticket reservation form for entire family is like taking an English exam. In Mumbai, size of 1BHK flat is smaller than all the four names put together. That day is not far when we will have Gamla Deep Kaur Mehsopuria and Khet Khalihan Singh Moosewala in our armoury. We can actually use these as weapons of mass destruction and kill the adversaries by throwing such frightening names on them. It’s high time to end this Punjabi magnanimity of taking sentences and paragraphs as names.